Trauma Interrupted with Jan Broberg

Sarma Melngaili's Story • The Girl with the Duck Tattoo, In Her Own Words

• Season 2 • Episode 19

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0:00 | 1:34:05

[Content Warning]: Discussions of coercive control, financial abuse and exploitation, isolation, dissociation; non-graphic mentions of child sexual abuse and sexual assault by a partner, suicidal ideation

Sarma Melngailis was a Wharton-educated entrepreneur who built New York City’s first upscale raw vegan restaurant, Pure Food and Wine, and the wellness brand One Lucky Duck. From the outside, she had it all. Then she met a man online who, over five years, siphoned her business, her savings, her mother’s money, and ultimately her sense of self, a slow-motion collapse she now recognizes as textbook coercive control. 

In this conversation with Jan Broberg, Sarma, author of her memoir The Girl with the Duck Tattoo, talks about how a predator uses “data mining” to learn your fears and dreams before ever meeting you in person, what it feels like to dissociate into what she calls a “zombie state,” and why she believes intelligence and openness make people more vulnerable to manipulation, not less. She also opens up about being diagnosed with autism at 51, the arrest that she says ultimately set her free, and her frustration with how her story was mangled in the Netflix docuseries Bad Vegan. 

Jan and Sarma talk through the mechanics of coercive control, isolation, gaslighting, financial exploitation, and the confusion and fear that keep someone locked in place long after their instincts are screaming at them to leave. It’s a conversation about how brilliant, accomplished people get pulled into these dynamics, and how they find their way back to themselves.


Buy Sarma’s Memoir: The Girl with the Duck Tattoo: A Memoir
TheGirlWithTheDuckTattoo.com

Where to Find Sarma:
Insta: @sarmamelngailis
Substack: @sarmamelngailis

Mentioned Resources:
Mariana Van Zeller’s works: MarianaVanZeller.me

If you or someone you know is experiencing emotional distress or suicidal ideation, please access the resources below:

National Suicide and Crisis Lifeline: Call/Text 988
National Sexual Assault Hotline  (RAINN) : 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)
National Alliance for Mental Illness: 1-800-950-6264  

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